TOTLANDIA: Book 1
(The Onesies, Fall)
FREE NOW, on
BN (99 cents)
"Welcome to the world of Momolotics, where being a mom is regarded as a political endeavor. Who knew that joining a mom and tot group would be so strife with maneuvers worthy of a presidential campaign? Membership in The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club supposedly can guarantee a bright future for your offspring. Although these women are mostly wealthy, there are a few that are just getting by. As the group opens up to new members, each mother has only one goal: to ensure their child will have every advantage that money can and can't buy. I adored this quick read and can't wait to get further into the lives of these women. There are some really sweet moments mixed in with the catty wonderfulness that Brown always seems to capture. I just can't believe I have to wait until the installment which will be released soon. There are supposed to be four installments each year..."
-- Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews
"Josie Brown writes Totlandia with her usual storytelling flair. The dialogue is smooth and flowing. The characters are easy to side with or become angry with, depending on each situation. The scenery is easy to visualize. And we mustn't forget all the sex (blushworthy, at that) and scandal that is a staple of a true Josie Brown novel. Totlandia: The Onesies (book one) kept me entertained and on my toes the entire time. It showed that there are mothers who are human and sometimes screw up even with the best intentions at hand. Lorna, Jillian and Ally are very easy to sympathize with. I'm still warming up to Jade. And I'm dying to know who Madame Ovary is. There's only one decision a character makes that I don't agree with so far, but I hope it gets resolved in book two. All in all, it's like a soap opera for mommies. Guilty pleasure, anyone?!? I look forward to reading book two next and will share my thoughts on that one, as well!"
--Melissa Amster, ChickLitCentral.com
"Are you ready for some Mama Drama? Although I try my best to avoid it in my real life, it made Totlandia a truly entertaining read and difficult to put down. This book is wonderfully written and has more than just drama. There are touching moments, parts that made me laugh out loud, and as I read the story I felt like I was reading a television show! It came then as no surprise to me that author Josie Brown, who has published five novels, had her Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being optioned by producer Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic television series.
With any luck, someone will pick up this series for television (with four more books being published, one per year: the Twosies, Threesies, Foursies, and Fivesies). With this group, everyone has a secret, and unraveling them has left me ready to find out what happens next!
-- Divine Secrets of a Domestic
"There are all those hit TV shows like Dance Moms or Toddlers and Tiaras and I never really got the appeal. After reading Totlandia by Josie Brown, I think I finally see it. For folks who love shows such as those or just a really great story that has a ton of humor mixed in, Totlandia is the book for you!
The storyline was so easy to get caught up in. Right away, Josie Brown hooks readers and she doesn’t let go til the last page. I got so involved in each character’s story and was right alongside them cheering for them and feeling all the emotions alongside them.
Totlandia is told is a lot of different point of views which was really neat, but my one complaint would be that at times it got a bit confusing. I also found some of the characters stories to be a bit naggy almost at times. Of the families, my favorite was Oliver and Jade – their story was just so much fun to read.
Totlandia by Josie Brown was just a real joy to read. I loved the variety of characters, the balance of funny and serious moments, and just the wacky story. I cannot wait to see what is next in the series!
-- The Book CellarX
"When you think ‘mom’ you probably envision a sweet, cookie-making, nurturing type, but hang out on a playground for half an hour and you’ll realize moms can also be catty, competitive and incredibly judgmental. Josie Brown has that bunch nailed in her new book series TOTLANDIA.
Picture Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City. TOTLANDIA would be the baby they’d create.
The first book in this four part series outlines the quest to become a member of an elite mommy group. It’s invite only and that’s no easy task, with six candidates vying for the last four spots. Not good enough to get the nomination, or hiding some scandalous secret, the mantra for these mommies should be ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’. The book is a blast, packed with humorous punchs between these ladies whose very existence relies on their ability to keep up appearances. This author will have you howling as you devour this most recent work. Yeah, she’s that good. And so are her books.
-- Stress Free, Baby
"[Josie]Brown has you rooting for the under-mommy who is halfway normal while gawking at the crazy mommies. These moms are so over the top it’s like peeking into a wild animal exhibit at the zoo. But that’s what makes it fun. And you’ll end up feeling that you are SUCH a great (or should that be “not crazy”) mom.
Brown does a great job of giving all the moms a real feeling. You’ve met these moms — maybe not to this extreme but, despite their wealth, they feel familiar. She shows you their vulnerabilities and does a great job in creating believable characters.
This is a fun book to read…everyone has secrets that only YOU know and everyone wants to win. So you get addicted pretty quick (this is a literary reality show), pick your favorite, and can’t wait to read what happens next. I was a little disappointed at the end when the first probationary moms gets cut from the group. But what happens next? I wanted to know who finally ended up with the coveted spot. I don’t want to wait for the next book and happily I won’t. Josie has already sent me Book Two.
-- Words by Webb
"I must say, right from the first page Totlandia made me laugh at some of the predicaments that mother’s are placed in when they are dealing with a one-year-old. As a mother of three, I could empathize with Lorna as she chased a diaper through the park, and was forced to haggle with a spoiled four-year-old.
And on the other hand, I shed a few tears as Jillian’s world falls apart around her, and she can barely hold the pieces together for her daughters.
The author did an amazing job at giving each character a distinct voice and their own trials throughout the book. I don’t think I would ever want to join a playgroup so badly that I would force myself to give in to the demands that membership in the PHM&T club requires, but the author makes each characters reasoning completely understandable and believable. I found myself cheering them on and hoping they make the cut, even though part of my mind was thinking how ridiculous it all was. But really, friendship and support for mother’s is a key part of keeping sane when you have little ones to take care of. I know from experience.
There was a bit more intimate moments then I had expected, but nothing that made me cringe and the language was kept pretty minimal, which I appreciated. There’s nothing worse than having your book world shattered with an unpleasant word or scene.
My biggest complaint was that it was over too quickly. It’s only 107 pages, which goes rather quickly when you’re enjoying the world that you’re in. I would have loved to have been able to experience a few more gatherings before the initial cut, but as I understand it there will be three more ‘episodes’ to the Onesies year. I look forward to being able to continue with the drama that is the PHM&T club.
-- Simply Stacie
"Totlandia by Josie Brown. I love escaping with a good frothy fun novel, and the Totlandia series fits this bill so well! The world Brown created with The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, and uber-exclusive children’s playgroup in San Francisco is indeed packed full of “Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal.” Too much fun and so full of the drama of motherhood! I can’t wait to read all four of these soapy treats." -- TheMomOfTheYear.net
"Totlandia: The Onesies was my first book by this very talented author, but will definitely not be my last. I really enjoyed meeting Lorna, Ally, Jade and Jillian. Each character brings an interesting backstory and likable personality to the mix and I thoroughly enjoyed how quickly they all connected and began forming a bond. I have a feeling this club can get pretty cutthroat with backstabbing and betrayal, so strong and loyal friends are definitely needed here. The story moves at a very good pace with many laugh out loud moments. Initially, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep everyone straight, but that fear quickly passed as the main characters are quickly revealed.
My Final Verdict: Overall, this was a very good start to a series that promises a lot of laughter and snarky sarcasm. I feel so much anticipation about what will happen next, you’d think I had submitted an application to the club, too. I highly recommend this book and think your anticipation will be just as high as mine. Kudos to Josie Brown for a very good book and giving me several hours of reading enjoyment." -- The Bookworm News & Reviews
"I just finished Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall)
"Once in a while I crave a good, quickie chick lit read. Josie Brown’s Totlandia delivers. Imagine the high-fashion, status-conscious set of Gossip Girl in their early 30s with babies in tow, set in San Francisco, and you have Brown’s world, where young mothers vie to get their one year olds a position on the fast track to social status and financial success.
This novel follows the efforts of four parents who attempt to get into the prestigious Pacific Heights Moms and Tots play group, a group in which only a few slots are given to the very best applicants from the very best families. Each of these parents has a secret she (and in one case he) hopes the rest of the group, and particularly the group’s founder Bettina Connaught Cross, won’t discover as this secret may jeopardize the position of the child in the play group and thus threaten the child’s social position for the rest of the child’s life.
The first in a proposed series, this is merely “Book 1—Fall” of The Onesies. This is conceivably a series that could stretch for four “quarters” from the “Onesies” all the way through the “Fivesies,” providing us with not just one but potentially up to twenty volumes of Brown’s escapist fantasy.
And truly, the best I can say about this novel is that it’s entertaining escapism. It reads much like watching a soap opera. The characters are not particularly well developed, dynamic, or even likable. There’s not enough substance in any of them to actually be able to relate to them. And yet, they are entertaining enough to observe as they lie, cheat, and even sleep their way into the PHM&T. The intrigue, deceit, and outright shenanigans that the characters engage in are, in one way despicable but at the same time not quite believable enough to actually despise.
Marked by the occasional reference to pop culture (Project Runway, The Hunger Games) and lots of fashion name dropping, it’s difficult to think of this work as timeless in any way. But these very references make the work a fun read, as we glimpse the life of both the old money and the noveau riche of San Francisco as they vie for a foothold on the social ladder.
Again, this feels very much like Gossip Girl repackaged for young mothers. Will this novel change your life? Absolutely not. Will you learn something deep and profound about the human condition or about yourself? No. Will you pass a few hours in the problems of someone else, someone with much more glamorous problems than your own? Yes. If you dig chick lit with lots of fashion, back stabbing and a little sex. I almost hate to admit it, but I can’t wait for the next in the series."
--LuxuryReading.com
"This is the first time I have read a Josie Brown book. I didn’t really know what to expect but I was immediately hooked by the storyline and cannot wait to read her other books.
Totlandia is a about a posh playgroup – the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Only San Francisco’s elite is able to book a space in said playgroup. Rules are strict and members must undergo a gruelling application process. There are only ten spaces per group (onesies, twosies etc.) up for grabs. Book 1 follows six mums and toddlers who must compete for the last four remaining spots in the onesies group.
During the first chapters the reader is introduced to a range of characters who all have their own “dirty” little secrets. At first I found it slightly difficult to remember all these new names and faces but Josie’s writing style makes it very easy for the reader to follow. Each character “develops” more and more in the chapters that follow. I personally learned to love these characters very quickly and cannot wait to find out who will eventually be accepted as a “full” member into the club. (I will review Totlandia Book 2 shortly).
I hugely enjoy Josie’s writing style! Once I started reading this book it was very hard to put it down. I could so easily identify with all the characters. I almost felt as if I was applying for a space for my 8 months old daughter in the playgroup myself 
.
Totlandia is a fantastic read that I highly recommend! It is funny, exciting, intriguing and the suspense it creates is amazing."
My rating: 5 out of 5 -- Cosmochicklitan
"Loved it! This is a short book with a lot of characters getting their own voice, but I didn't feel rushed or confused or frustrated at any point. Brown does a slam-dunk job at writing a witty novella with a lot of heart, laughs, and WTF moments! I may not be a mother yet, but I was hooked from the beginning and I am so glad I have book # 2 ready to go in my Kindle, because the cliffhanger had me practically panting. 5 stars!"
-- Chick Lit Plus
"Totlandia tells the tale of an exclusive Moms and Tots playgroup where the children who get in ....have parents who want the best for them and are willing to go to any lengths to get what they think will provide their children with any advantage in what they think is a dog eat dog world. Even a playgroup for an infant.
The rules for joining are absurd. The mothers are absurd. The concept is absurd. The book is hysterical. It's short, biting and full of characters that you want to know more about. Book 1 introduces the main players, the hows and whys of The Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club and of course, the children. There are 4 spots open for this year but 6 mothers vying for the places. So a Survivor-like contest is decided as a way to winnow out the two extra applicants.
Each of the women has a secret that will surely lead to her dismissal if found out so they do their best to keep them hidden as they and their children bond. The dialog is fun, the challenges faced are real and there are some laugh out loud moments. I don't think it took me two hours to read so it's a perfect light, funny tale to have handy when you have a little time and want to have something to read..."
-- Broken Teepee
"Lorna Connaught and her husband Matthew have a son named Dante. One thing I loved was that they seem to be a very loving couple. That’s not to say that they don’t have their ups and downs.
Brady Pierce is another character that I found interesting. He’s a dad but his past time keeps him happy – sorta. And he’s also a jerk.
You will find out early on how all the characters are connected. Our author shows her reader that status means everything – even for a baby. She also shows what it takes to make sure your child gets the best start in life.
At the same time, you have to feel sorry for all these people that spend their time, money, and energy on what they think is best for their children. It makes me glad that I didn’t grow up with a lot of money and went to public school. And yet I still saw those people that thought they were better than others.
The woman you love to hate, Bettina, is the woman who runs the children’s group that everyone is so eager to be a part of. One thing that makes this series a page-turner is that you want to see if she gets her just desserts. You can almost picture how she treats those around her." -- LoveRomancePassion.com
"Totlandia is highly addictive. The fabulous cover is a head-turner, but the storyline itself is what keeps me flipping the pages long into the night. The unique story of each woman speaks to a little part inside all of us. And the high-stakes war of entry into this exclusive club reminds us that the competitive nature of high school cliques is never far behind.
I loved “Totlandia” and am already deep into the second in the series. Josie plans to release four episodes a year, following the moms (and one dad) through their journey as the kids grow up and the friendships shift."
-- Syrah, ChickLitAndWine.com
"Brown did it again! She wrote a book that is both hysterical and original. She gets at the heart of motherhood and all its glory and shame! Brown loves to develop numerous characters and you sure to connect with one, if not all in some way. She makes you think, with whimsy and fun. I absolutely adore her writing and I cannot wait to drive into Book Two of this series!" -- Mommy Book Nerd
"...With affairs, pending divorces, secret jobs and unsavory pasts, each wannabe member hides something that could blow her chances for good.
Like the characters in reality shows such as “Dance Moms,” the women in Pacific Heights might be over-the-top, but in the end the best interests of their kids are (almost) always at heart. Laugh-out-loud funny and sometimes touching, the "Totlandia" novellas serve as the perfect quick read for busy moms or anyone looking to escape with some gossipy fun."
—Examiner.com
"I love escaping with a good frothy fun novel, and the Totlandia series fits this bill so well! The world Brown created with The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, and uber-exclusive children’s playgroup in San Francisco is indeed packed full of “Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal.” Too much fun and so full of the drama of motherhood! I can’t wait to read all four of these soapy treats." -- TheMomOfTheYear.Net
"This series has tons of drama, drama, drama! The four books out chronicle the lives of four wanna-be members of the prestigious PHM&TC playgroup. They also show the secret life of the club’s founder, Bettina. Each of the wanna-be members has a secret that, if revealed, would probably prevent them from joining the club. You see, the club has many unwritten rules from Bettina- no overweight moms, no working moms, no single moms, etc.I loved getting to be inside each person’s story. I loved how they were all different, but had some things in common- each wanted an exclusive spot and had something to hide! It was crazy and funny to read about the Mom and Tots Club events and how particular Bettina was about everything. The parents all want the best for their children and truly want to find friends, so they were likeable. I thought a book about wealthy, high-class parents fighting for exclusive spots would make me HATE the characters, but they were much more likeable than I expected... Secrets eventually come out as the books continue and drama ensues, but friendships also develop. Each of the books made me immediately purchase and download the next book because I was so sucked into each person’s story. The stories are shorter than most e-books.Mature reader warning: There are some S & M scenes as the book series goes on...Overall, this is an enjoyable, engaging, easy-to-read story series. I’m definitely going to continue reading it as new books come out!" 4 out of 5 chickadees singing." —Chicklitchickadees.com
