What inspired you to write this story?
Josie: When I wrote The Baby Planner, I so enjoyed the opportunity of delving into the tsunami of emotions women experience during pregnancy, and loved writing about how our feelings color our view of ourselves: our lives, our relationships, our future. My book tour was hosted by baby planners all over the country, and was attended by many women who were in playgroups. As I watched their interactions with each other and with their children, I realized there was a story to be told about women in that particular time of their lives: when new friendships are forged while our children are too young to choose their friends themselves.
We parents seek out others who share our hopes, dreams and values. What
we come to find out is that true friendships are tested over time, and under the most stressful circumstances. It’s one thing to enjoy a conversation while sharing a park bench on a sunny afternoon. It’s another to feel comfortable enough to divulge a heavy heart, over a scary medical prognosis, or a separation, or a shady past. We all have secrets. We have to weigh the definition of friendship with that of our ability to trust, and to honor a friend’s trust.
Totlandia is all about friendships and trust. Granted, the setting and circumstances are sometimes over-the-top farcical, and sometimes tragic. Then again, so is real life.
This book makes me want to go sit in a coffee shop in the Marina and just eavesdrop on conversations. I’ve also started paying WAY more attention to people with babies. What were the funniest conversations/comments you’ve overheard, and that you’ve been tempted to include in the book?
Josie: Ha ha! Now you know my secret: eavesdropping! Not to mention some diligent online research within some of the mommy loops.
Heads up: practically every playdate scenario in the book was something I heard or witnessed, or it was ranted about on some loop. I may have ramped up the silliness but yes: people act in crazy ways, especially when their kids are involved. If you see your child as a reflection of yourself, you’ll do the very things we ask our children NOT to do to others. I call it “parents behaving badly.”
The idea of her attacking admissions forms with the same gusto as a job application is actually kind of scary…What happens when your child becomes your full-time job?
Josie: Oh. My. God. I’ve actually seen that happen, from both mothers and fathers! I’ve observed the helicopter mom, the overbearing dad, and the parents who project their own successes onto their child, or who force their child into do-overs, for some still-smarting failure, hoping their child gives them the victory they still need in their lives. I look back at my own parenting foibles and sometimes wonder, “What the heck was I thinking?” The great new is: I can laugh at myself. By taking it up a notch in Totlandia, I hope the reader can laugh at these parents, but also relate to them as well.
I’m really curious about the kids in this book, and how they turn out as a result of growing up in these families—will we ever get any insight into their perspectives? Really, I’m just begging for a letter from ballet camp…
Josie: Yes! The children of our heroines are have wonderful personalities in their own rights. Some will be chips off the old blocks, and others will have minds of their own, to their parents’ chagrin. And as with real life, some of the families will experience tragedies.
This book is really funny, but it also explores some more serious themes—like buying into something that you don’t fully believe in, and trying to guarantee happiness for your kids (when these characters can’t even manage to find it for themselves). What are your thoughts about that?
Josie: When our children are infants, we are an omnipotent presence in their lives: we are their universe, their everything. As our children grow and develop, their personalities come to the forefront. They strive for independence. In fact, they fight us for it! A good parent will let them win. A great parent will also realize that, no matter how much we may want something for our children, they may not want it for themselves. They have their own hopes and dreams. A great parent lets their children live their own lives, and applauds them for doing so. InTotlandia, the parents will learn this lesson, sometimes the hard way.
One of the things that makes your writing so refreshing is that you manage to paint fully-formed characters—flaws and all—without seeming to pass judgment. In many ways, it reminds me of Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives with that human connection.
Josie: Thank you for this! No heroine should be perfect. Otherwise, she is a cartoon character, a “super-heroine.” I strive to write “real” people, which means they have flaws. I want them to have a bit of me in them, a bit of the reader, and a bit of someone whom the reader knows. Sometimes they do stupid things, but in the long run, they make us proud.
Tell us about your research process. Did you sit in on mom groups and stake out the parks in Pacific Heights?
Josie: I met so many new moms while researching and touring with my last book, The Baby Planner. Many of the baby planners who hosted that me into my touring cities were young parents themselves. In fact, a couple of them were pregnant, just like the many readers who attended these events. My children are beyond the age ofTotlandia, but I have friends who are going through that experience now, or have children who are edging into ‘tweendom. Observing them and the issues they face–some which I avoided, thank goodness!–has been great fodder for the book.
Who will love this book?
Josie: That’s easy! Anyone who has ever been a parent. Anyone who is pregnant, and already angsting over their fears of parenting. And anyone looking for a fun read, especially something with more than a touch of satire on (to paraphrase Anthony Trollope) the way we live now. One of the reasons I’m so happy this book is a series is because I will enjoy writing characters who grow and change, just like their children. I hope my readers enjoy the journey as much as I do.
BUY THE SERIES THROUGH
